BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from Nazareth stopped for the use of a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious local slumlord, and a baby was born.
"There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw," commented local public health authorities. "We even found a donkey inside."
"The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances," offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney. "She claims to have been a virgin."
Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical ideas about religion in the future."
Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of Bethlehem by the Roman Border Patrol carrying illegal contraband. "We caught them red-handed with frankincense and myrrh," explained an official with the Border Patrol. "And they didn't have any papers." The Kings were promptly arrested and deported to Syria.
At virtually the same time as the baby was born, a bright star was sighted over Bethlehem. "This is an omen that things are about to radically change in the Empire due to global warming," the Director of the Environmental Protection Agency commented.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
It was a busy
morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have
stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an
appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital
signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone
would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I
was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was
well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to
remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of
his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as
he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to
the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her
health.
He told me that she had been there
for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we
talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He
replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in
five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every
morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he
patted my hand and said,
'She doesn't
know me, but I still know who she is.'
morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have
stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an
appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital
signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone
would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I
was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was
well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to
remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of
his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as
he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to
the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her
health.
He told me that she had been there
for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we
talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He
replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in
five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every
morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he
patted my hand and said,
'She doesn't
know me, but I still know who she is.'
Monday, November 8, 2010
New Pledge of Allegiance ?
WRITTEN BY A 15 yr. Old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA :
Since the Pledge of Allegiance
and The Lord's Prayer
Are not allowed in most
Public schools anymore
Because the word 'God' is mentioned.....
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached
NEW School prayer:
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all..
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong...
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles..
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen
Since the Pledge of Allegiance
and The Lord's Prayer
Are not allowed in most
Public schools anymore
Because the word 'God' is mentioned.....
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached
NEW School prayer:
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all..
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong...
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles..
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen
Thursday, September 23, 2010
sky diving
A man is skydiving, enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. So he pulls on the rip cord, but nothing happens.
"No problem," he says to himself, "I still have my emergency chute." So he pulls the rip cord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens. Now the man begins to panic.
"What am I going to do?" he thinks, "I'm a goner..."
Just then he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can't figure out where this man is coming from, or what he's doing, but he thinks to himself, "Maybe he can help me. If he can't, then I'm done for."
When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts down, "Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?"
The other man replies, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
"No problem," he says to himself, "I still have my emergency chute." So he pulls the rip cord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens. Now the man begins to panic.
"What am I going to do?" he thinks, "I'm a goner..."
Just then he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can't figure out where this man is coming from, or what he's doing, but he thinks to himself, "Maybe he can help me. If he can't, then I'm done for."
When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts down, "Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?"
The other man replies, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard, and asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"
The father was taken aback, but he decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to explain everything about the birds and the bees.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was just looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Could you tell me why you asked me about that?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
The father was taken aback, but he decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to explain everything about the birds and the bees.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was just looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Could you tell me why you asked me about that?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
Sunday, March 28, 2010
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.
I'm guessing--
I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with--someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.
I'm guessing--
I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with--someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Save a place for me
I just recently heard this song for the first time. The words are so true.
Save A Place For Me
------Matthew West
Don't be mad
If I cry
It just hurts so bad, sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you
(Chorus)
Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answers for another time
So instead I pray, with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
Save A Place For Me
------Matthew West
Don't be mad
If I cry
It just hurts so bad, sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you
(Chorus)
Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answers for another time
So instead I pray, with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A post Valentine
BEING VALENTINE
"When I found the one my heart loves, I held him and would not let him go..." (Song of Songs 3:4)
Another Valentine's Day is past. No doubt the usual enormous quantity of cards, flowers and candy was bought and exchanged. It is said that only Christmas exceeds Valentine's Day in the number of holiday cards sent.
The true identity of Saint Valentine is not known. One legend holds that he was a kindly priest of the third century who continued to perform marriages despite an imperial ban. It seems that the Roman Emperor Claudius was upset at the number of men who refused to serve in his army because of their desire to stay home with their wives, so he outlawed marriage. And Fr. Valentine was beheaded for his trouble. Another tale tells of a medieval monk named Valentine who carried messages back and forth between men in prison and their loved ones. Many stories attach to this holiday, but the fact is we don’t know about St. Valentine.
But we know about love. We know how wonderful it is — and sometimes how disappointing. We know how naturally it comes to us — and how difficult it can often be. We know much we want it — and what risks it may carry. I asked a friend who had spent his career as a general surgeon what the most difficult kind of surgery had been for him. "Fixing hearts," he said, "because I know the cost of failure." He could as well have been describing love.
There is risk in giving love and risk in receiving it. Often the kids in orphanages where I've shared in ministry stand back when we arrive. They have had their hearts broken before, being abandoned by those they loved, and they don't know if they want to go there again. One can hear the fear in their voices when they ask if we're coming back to see them again, can feel it in the tightness of that last hug as we board our bus to leave. Yet love we must. It's a risk we have to take for life to be healthy and full. The title alone of psychologist Smiley Blanton's book gives the whole picture: "Love or Perish."
So love. Love God with all your heart. Take the chance on what that might mean for you. Love your neighbor — and your spouse and your parents and your kids — in the same measure as you do yourself. Valentine's Day is past, but today is still a time, as Solomon said, to hold them and not let them go.
By Dr. Michael Halleen
"When I found the one my heart loves, I held him and would not let him go..." (Song of Songs 3:4)
Another Valentine's Day is past. No doubt the usual enormous quantity of cards, flowers and candy was bought and exchanged. It is said that only Christmas exceeds Valentine's Day in the number of holiday cards sent.
The true identity of Saint Valentine is not known. One legend holds that he was a kindly priest of the third century who continued to perform marriages despite an imperial ban. It seems that the Roman Emperor Claudius was upset at the number of men who refused to serve in his army because of their desire to stay home with their wives, so he outlawed marriage. And Fr. Valentine was beheaded for his trouble. Another tale tells of a medieval monk named Valentine who carried messages back and forth between men in prison and their loved ones. Many stories attach to this holiday, but the fact is we don’t know about St. Valentine.
But we know about love. We know how wonderful it is — and sometimes how disappointing. We know how naturally it comes to us — and how difficult it can often be. We know much we want it — and what risks it may carry. I asked a friend who had spent his career as a general surgeon what the most difficult kind of surgery had been for him. "Fixing hearts," he said, "because I know the cost of failure." He could as well have been describing love.
There is risk in giving love and risk in receiving it. Often the kids in orphanages where I've shared in ministry stand back when we arrive. They have had their hearts broken before, being abandoned by those they loved, and they don't know if they want to go there again. One can hear the fear in their voices when they ask if we're coming back to see them again, can feel it in the tightness of that last hug as we board our bus to leave. Yet love we must. It's a risk we have to take for life to be healthy and full. The title alone of psychologist Smiley Blanton's book gives the whole picture: "Love or Perish."
So love. Love God with all your heart. Take the chance on what that might mean for you. Love your neighbor — and your spouse and your parents and your kids — in the same measure as you do yourself. Valentine's Day is past, but today is still a time, as Solomon said, to hold them and not let them go.
By Dr. Michael Halleen
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Harvesters of signs
By Dr. Michael A. Halleen
(God) took (Abraham) outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars-if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."(Genesis 15:5)
God had promised Abraham and Sarah that they would be founders of a great nation and a blessing to the earth. They had kept their part of the bargain and gone where God told them to go. They had trusted and believed. But the years had piled up like sand in the desert and no child had been born to them. True, God had brought them into a new land as promised, but what good was that if there was no one to leave it to?
The story of Sarah and Abraham is a story of barrenness - not only of their inability to have children, but also of a world in which our prayers go unanswered, our deepest hopes remain unborn. As for Abraham, so also for us the time comes when we want action. Abraham, speaking for us all, says to God, in essence, "The land is fine, Lord, but what about the child you promised?"
We who worship the God of Abraham and Sarah and believe that the promised blessing is also for us feel the urgency in his question. We have asked it from the depths of our hearts too. Why am I unable to find a meaningful job? Where is the good health for which I've prayed? Will there ever be someone to love me? How long must we live in fear of terrorism?
As Abraham's question cut through the night air, God gave him a sign. He took him outdoors, beneath a sky powdered with stars, and said again that he and Sarah would have descendants to outnumber the lights of heaven. It was not an explanation but simply a reiteration of the promise. It meant Don't give up! Keep the faith! I'm still around!
Faith is a gift, something we receive rather than achieve. Some receive it in great measure, others less so. But all of us, like Abraham, are called to be observers of signs. When he grew tired of waiting, he saw in the stars something that helped him persevere. Our signs may be more subtle - a kind word, a gentle hand, a beautiful thing that reminds us of the Creator's love. Harvest those signs. Share them. Each one, great or small, helps us in the long and difficult wait for the fulfillment of God's promises.
(God) took (Abraham) outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars-if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."(Genesis 15:5)
God had promised Abraham and Sarah that they would be founders of a great nation and a blessing to the earth. They had kept their part of the bargain and gone where God told them to go. They had trusted and believed. But the years had piled up like sand in the desert and no child had been born to them. True, God had brought them into a new land as promised, but what good was that if there was no one to leave it to?
The story of Sarah and Abraham is a story of barrenness - not only of their inability to have children, but also of a world in which our prayers go unanswered, our deepest hopes remain unborn. As for Abraham, so also for us the time comes when we want action. Abraham, speaking for us all, says to God, in essence, "The land is fine, Lord, but what about the child you promised?"
We who worship the God of Abraham and Sarah and believe that the promised blessing is also for us feel the urgency in his question. We have asked it from the depths of our hearts too. Why am I unable to find a meaningful job? Where is the good health for which I've prayed? Will there ever be someone to love me? How long must we live in fear of terrorism?
As Abraham's question cut through the night air, God gave him a sign. He took him outdoors, beneath a sky powdered with stars, and said again that he and Sarah would have descendants to outnumber the lights of heaven. It was not an explanation but simply a reiteration of the promise. It meant Don't give up! Keep the faith! I'm still around!
Faith is a gift, something we receive rather than achieve. Some receive it in great measure, others less so. But all of us, like Abraham, are called to be observers of signs. When he grew tired of waiting, he saw in the stars something that helped him persevere. Our signs may be more subtle - a kind word, a gentle hand, a beautiful thing that reminds us of the Creator's love. Harvest those signs. Share them. Each one, great or small, helps us in the long and difficult wait for the fulfillment of God's promises.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
