SURVIVOR

10 years ago today my oldest son Shaun went to see Jesus and stayed. Around 3:00 on a beautiful friday afternoon---Just like Jesus!

I too was changed forever on that day.

I am thankful that Jessica was allowed to stay here on earth for a while yet.

I am not the same person I was before he died,

I am different now, I no longer think everything will be OK.

I know that awful things happen to faithful Christian people.

I know that Jesus is real beyond any doubt

I know He held my broken heart in his nail scared hands until it was mended back together.. ..He has never let go of me!

I know there will always be a scar from that Broken heart, I will never be the same.

I know the power of others peoples prayers.

I know that my wonderful living children are partially who they are because of the death of their older brother.

I know who my real friends are.... the ones who are not afraid to mention Shauns name, or give me a hug when they don't know what else to do or say--even now 10 years after his death, they remember him. THANK YOU

I am thankful for my faithful friends who walked this awful path with me.

I am thankful for my husband and living children. They're all awesome.

I love them all, You have all helped me to become the new wife and mom I am today.

I had a hard time learning to like the new me.. I was ok with the before Shauns death mom/wife/Julie.. I didn't want to be who I am now.

I Thank you for supporting me and loving the new me.

I will never be satisfied with any reason that anyone gives for why Shaun died.... No reason is good enough for me

I will however love my living children in ways they would never be loved had Shaun not died.

I know that my children are a gift form God!

I know that they are not my children,

I now that they are on loan to me from God.

I will Love them while I can.

I know I will see Shaun when I too get to go to Heaven

I will trust Jesus EVEN when I don't understand.

I will never be the same again.

I am a survivor.